Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Happy New Year

I hope your new year is filled with the people you love and new adventures awaiting you.

Monday, December 29, 2014

Errands With Mom

Mom and I went to town to get some errands done today. She made me stay in the van while she rented some movies, and we donated some things to Salvation Army together, and then she went through the drive-through at Sheetz convenience store and got us each a hot dog.  She also got herself a drink but didn't get me one. I tried to lick hers but it had a lid on it so I couldn't taste much.

Turns out, hot dogs are tricky things to eat when you're in a van. Who knew?

I licked the bun for a while but it started getting soggy and falling apart. Also the hot dog just rolled out. Where DID that thing go?

I looked under the wrapper, but it wasn't there. Hot dogs are sneaky things.

I finally found it, and got a bite in, but it rolled right off the seat and down beside the door. My hot dog got away, because hot dogs are sneaky things when they're in a van.

After that fiasco, mom went to the grocery store and I had to stay in the van by myself. But I spent my time wisely while she was gone. I am learning to drive! Today, I mastered the turning signal and windshield wiper. She was so surprised by my new skills when she turned on the van and realized what I'd done.

I'm the smartest dog ever. Next week, I'll be driving myself to get hot dogs.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Fun With The Family

I went for a walk tonight with mom and the family. I showed them my Maddie On Things impression. Mom was super impressed, and figured if I could stand on a post, I could probably ride a bike, too.

Well, of course I can.

Friday, December 26, 2014

Christmas Eve Adventures

It has been so warm lately that I don't even have to wear my coat when I go outside. It was even warmer the day before the night a big fat guy wearing a red suit broke into our house.  Because it was so nice outside, we drove to the river and played at the water's edge that day.

The muddy sand was fun to run in and sniff at. So many smells!

My boy wanted me to play fetch, but I didn't bring it back very often so that was a fail. There were too many other things to see and do!

The river was so interesting. I wanted to know what was in it, and what it smelled like, and learn all about it.

 Then we drove over to another place and walked through the woods to see more water. Mom made me sit on the side of the bridge where there weren't holes, and I wasn't happy because I wasn't right beside mom, but I stayed because I didn't like when my feet fell through.

Me and my boy posing. I stayed when I was told here, too, because it was kind of tall. And plus I'm a good listener.

The water there was really fun! It was moving fast and there were lots of rocks to walk out onto. I hope we get to go back again sometime!

Monday, December 22, 2014

I Helped A Lot Today

Today was filled with Very Hard Work.

First mom and I went to town to have Cooper's staples taken out from her spay. We also gave the vet's office some chocolate because we love those people in there. And it's Christmas time. I helped with this.

And then after we came home, mom and I wrapped Christmas presents all afternoon. That, too, was really hard work. But I found a way to help with that as well.

Mom is sure lucky she has me to help her out. She'd be so overwhelmed with chores if I wasn't around.

Sunday, December 21, 2014

My Weekend Kind Of Stunk

I sometimes get privileges of going places with mom when the other dogs have to stay home. One of those times happened over the weekend. Mom put a new coat on me, grabbed my leash, and the whole family packed into the van to go on a long drive. It was so exciting, and we all looked forward to getting to our destination.

Except when we got to where we were going, I wasn't allowed to go inside because dogs aren't welcome in Chick Fil A. This stressed me a bit, because I don't like being away from mom. If I'm locked in the safety of my crate, that's one thing, but left alone in a vehicle is completely another. I sat in mom's seat because it smelled like her, and I looked out the window, watching for her to return.

FINALLY. She finally returned. It seemed to take just forever. But it was too late and the damage was done. I had worked myself up into an intestinal tizzy, and the family suffered the whole way home just the way I had to suffer while they were in a restaurant without me. Bully gas is nothing to scoff at, let me tell you.

Thursday, December 18, 2014

Upper Story Privileges

If you're new here, you'll need some back story. I came from Missouri, and drove with mom and dad the 16 hours home with them. I was just getting adjusted to my new home when mom tripped over me while making dinner one evening. Turns out, she broke my leg.

I was a cute wee yellow burrito, no?

I was pretty concerned about not keeping up with mom when I was wearing that cast, and stressed immensely when she wasn't in sight. I even drug myself up the stairs one day looking for her, and steps were a hurdle for a tiny thing like me even without that bulky thing on my leg. Mom was not happy that I mastered the steps, saying something about falling and breaking another leg or a back... But after that she carried me upstairs every time she went just to keep me safe.

This is funny, because dogs in our house aren't allowed upstairs. The peoples I live with are allergic to dogs and like to breathe easy at night without dog dander wreaking havoc with their sinuses. But because mom broke me, I have the privilege of being upstairs. And downstairs in the basement. It's sweet. Mom is never out of my sight. Ever.


Because I'm a frenchie and love to joke around, I like to tease my sisters about not being able to come upstairs like I can. Mom generally puts the nix on things like me standing at the top of the stairs and barking at the girls, but sometimes I do it anyway. However, I recently learned a new fun reason for being able to go upstairs or in the basement when the girls can't. On rare occasions, mom will give us each a special bone, like the ones you can get from Jones Natural Chews, Despite the fact that we all have our own, we like to hoard as many as we can. Jill hides them behind the sofa. Margo hides them under the pillow in the suitcase dog bed. Cooper just sits on hers. Literally. But me? When I find a bone that's been hidden or is currently unprotected, I take that thing upstairs or down to the sewing room, BECAUSE I CAN.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

That Cat, Percy

You know what I love? Treats. A lot. I love treats.

I also love playing. Mostly with things that aren't my toys.

I love the other dogs here.

I love chasing chickens, if they're outside.

I love running with the pack.

I love being with mom.

And I even love the cat.

There's this cat that lives outside, and he's fun to chase because sometimes he runs. Sometimes he doesn't, though, and that's not as fun, so I try to goad him into running because chasing is so much fun. Here's the thing though; cats don't play like dogs. Cats don't herd well, and cats don't get the point when you push them into running. If a cat doesn't want to run, a cat just won't run. Cats aren't good at rules.

I still like the cat, though, because sometimes he runs and I get to chase him.

The cat, not playing by the rules. He wanted to be all friendly-like. That's not how we play!

The cat, reminding me that now is not the time to play chase.

The cat TELLING me that if anyone is going to be chased, it's me.

Me, pestering that cat when he's trying to just walk away because he clearly wanted to play when he tried to chase me, right?

Tuesday, December 16, 2014


Today I went on a walk with my family. I never leave mom's side, so a leash wasn't necessary, and we sure had a good time walking on the beach and exploring all the things. I have decided that I love the water's edge, and the dock. The dock has all sorts of nooks and crannies to sniff, and it smells like seaweed.

After we explored at the water's edge, we hiked up the hill back to the car. My boy and I learned how to fetch today! Don't judge me for not knowing this already. It's hard to learn these things at home with a pack of dogs all fighting over who gets the thrown object first, and then we just forget what we were doing by the time we raced to see who got there. Today, my boy and I learned to play with each other. It was So. Much. Fun.

Look, ma! I can float!

Sheer happiness. On both our faces.

The suspense....

I fetched!

Sunday, December 14, 2014

The Silver Biscuit Saga

I like helping mom with All The Things. I help lick the dishes clean when she loads them in the dishwasher, I help clean food off the floor, I help round up the cat, and I even help destroy toys so she has an excuse to buy us more. I like to be helpful. I know what a bonus that is to mom.

Mom made some ornaments for a dog themed Christmas tree the other day. She spray painted real Milk Bone dog biscuits with silver paint, hot glued a red ribbon loop on them, and set them aside to dry. I wanted to help her with that, too, but she said I wasn't allowed.

Because I like to be helpful in All The Things, I snuck back to the bones when mom wasn't looking to be sure they were drying well. I couldn't really tell to just sniff, so I tested one. With my mouth. Yep, they were dry. Mom would be happy to know that.

Later that day I was eating a beef trachea (yum!) and a piece got caught in my throat. I kept hacking until it was unstuck. It was one of those fun times that I actually hack hard enough to bring up lunch. Eating it a second time is just as good as the first! But mom heard the hacking and came to see if everything was alright. She wouldn't let me eat my lunch again. I just like being helpful in cleaning up messes, too.

Mom saw a red ribbon with hot glue on the ends of it in my mess. She cleaned up my lunch and called the vet. That was the day we learned that if you're going to eat a spray painted dog biscuit, waiting until the paint is dry is key to not poisoning yourself. I also learned that if you eat silver spray paint, you don't poop glitter. It was a little disappointing.

Friday, December 12, 2014

The New Coat

I love wearing coats. I get all kinds of excited when mom gets a coat out, and I sit still and extend my neck so she can slip it over my head. I then get to walk around and show off to the other dogs that I got a coat and they don't. It's so fun.

This is my new coat. I'm loving it, but it's warm for indoors. This pretty much means that it's my to-go coat, and that's really fun because that means that I get to go.

Except tonight. I wasn't allowed to go tonight. I was pretty mad about that, and I refused to go in my crate when mom left the house. I made her pick me up and put me in there because I wasn't going in all by myself just out of principal. I get a new to-go coat, and can't even go. There's something messed up with that.

But hey, that's a swell looking coat that I've got. Just wait until Cooper notices this one.

Thursday, December 11, 2014


Mom doesn't keep toys upstairs for me, so I have to find toys to play with all by myself when I'm up there with her. No worries! Micah has a whole room full of golf balls just down the hall. If I go missing for 2.3 minutes, it's to go fetch one. (Mom has a rule that I'm only allowed upstairs when she is, and I have to be in her sight at all times. She says things like allergies, and sleeping hair free and all that stuff that makes no sense.)

Playing with golf balls is my favorite!

And then mom said no. She's never happy with me playing with them.

Whaaaat? How did this golf ball get here?

Huh. Ima sniff it to be sure it's really a golf ball.

Drat. Mom is still watching. She never misses a thing.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

The Best and the Worst of Times

It was the worst of days. It was the best of days.

Let me 'splain.

Mom got ready to leave the house, and didn't lock me up, so OF COURSE I was going to get to go with her. I LOVE GOING WITH MOM IN THE CAR. But then she put a leash on my sister, Margo, and told me to stay. I knew she didn't mean me, so I tried rushing out the door. Can you believe she put her foot out to block me? I tried the puppy eyes trick on her, but it has become clear to me that I need to work on that. I also need a mirror in my crate so that I can practice my puppy eyes and test their effectiveness.

I spent the next few hours running between the doors, begging mom to come back. The betrayal hurt. When she did come home, she only petted me for a little bit, but then focused more attention on Margo. She held Margo on her lap. She said something about hot compresses and vet and other things, but all I know is that Margo was being loved and I was most certainly not. I ignored mom, to show her how angry I was, even though I was sitting right next to her, because she may have a change of heart and shove Margo off her lap and hold me instead.

Ignoring mom.

Still ignoring mom, but keeping an eye on her. You know, in case she changes her mind.

Definitely ignoring mom, and letting her know that I'm just peeved with her at this point.

Showing mom who is boss by sleeping in the dog bed without a pillow. She'll have all sorts of guilt if I have to sleep on a hard bed. Mom took the pillow this morning as further punishment to me. She mentioned something about needing washed after I peed on it. Blah blah blah

That was the worst of days. The best of days immediately followed this. That whole sleeping on a hard bed thing worked (bonus points for me!), because when mom left again, she took me with her. I not only got to ride in the front of the van when Frank had to ride in the back (I was gracious, though, and went back to rub it in check on him frequently), but then I got to go visit everyone I love at the vet's office after Frank got all the bad stuff out of the way for me. (Way to take one for the team, Frank! You're a good guy.)

After we came home, I spent an hour sleeping at mom's feet in the sewing room. That's the place where no other dog is allowed except me, so that proves that mom still loves me best. Despite the worst beginning to the day, it sure ended well.

Monday, December 8, 2014

Playing Chicken

I went to gather eggs today at the chicken coop. I've got a love hate relationship with those feathered fowl. If mom lets me in the chicken yard, I will chase those things around and around and around and it's hilarious to watch them flap and sqwak. Mom always yells at me and ends the fun. She says something about not laying and blah blah Charlie brown teacher babble blah blah blah. I'm not laying down, and she has no idea what she's talking about. 

I went into the coop today, though, because mom said I had to. That's not nearly as fun as the yard. Those chickens are evil things that will walk right up to you and give you the evil eye if you are in a confined space, so I hid behind mom's legs. It's always safe there.

I should probably tell you that I used to chase the chickens in the coop as well. I'd pretend not to hear mom when she said to stop, because CHASING CHICKENS! It's far better than squirrels because they can't really get away. I was herding a chicken into a corner, and running another out the door, and making the rest all fly up onto the perches. It was SO MUCH FUN. I love chasing chicken. Who doesn't?

But they conspired against me one day. Instead of running out the door, a  chicken decided to run right into me. And as if that wasn't enough, one flew off the perch and landed right beside me. Holy terrifying chickens, Batman! Those things are killers! I mean, when something comes at you that's your size, and it's all flappy and sharp beaks and claws, what are you going to do but cower and whimper?

Don't tell anyone that I whimpered. I was just a pup, okay?